Fucker the Snake
â€œDoes Micah have a pet snake?â€ One of Micahâ€™s care providers asked me yesterday when I was picking him up.
â€œNo.â€ I said, with a slight look of confusion.
â€œOh, heâ€™s been talking about his pet snake all day.â€
â€œHeâ€™s got a wooden snake that he got from the zoo but thatâ€™s as close to a snake as TJ will ever allow.â€
â€œHe said his snakeâ€™s name is â€˜Fuckerâ€™â€ Darlene said.
â€œWhat?!â€ I was completely shocked. Surely she didnâ€™t just say what I thought I heard. Her laughter answered my question.
After I got him all packed up and we were walking through the parking lot to the Jeep, I asked him what his snakeâ€™s name is. Sure enough, he looks at me and says â€œFucker.â€ I just hoped TJ would think it was as funny as I did. I mean, he didnâ€™t get it from us. I havenâ€™t dropped the F-Bomb anywhere near him since he was born. Iâ€™m pretty sure he meant something else and couldnâ€™t remember the word or was just pronouncing something else incorrectly.
I could hardly wait to see TJâ€™s reaction. As soon as we walked in the front door of the house, I asked Micah to tell her what his snakeâ€™s name is. Without missing a beat, he smiles and says â€œFucker.â€ I thought TJâ€™s eyes would pop out of her head. She quickly says, â€œPucker?â€ and Micah says â€œYeah.â€ I asked him again a few seconds later and it was right back to â€œFucker.â€
When I dropped Micah off at school this morning, Emily, one of the teachers in Micahâ€™s old room, was behind the front desk. She had heard about Micahâ€™s snake and couldnâ€™t help laughing. So now heâ€™s notorious. We asked him what his snakeâ€™s name is and he just smiled but didnâ€™t answer. I suggested his name is â€œSlitherâ€ and he said â€œYeah!â€
I hope thatâ€™s the name that sticks. But itâ€™s not nearly as funny.
3 thoughts on “Fucker the Snake”
That is my nephew… hahahah…
But it wasn’t me who taught him that… I blame Chuck for showing Dillon that cartoon… and then Dillon told Micah… But it all falls back to Fuck… I mean Chuck.
Dic… I mean Nic sucks.
oooohhh, hilarious! How did you not laugh out loud? I am and my co-workers are wondering what my problem is.
Back in the day my sister would call a dump truck a dumb F*ck. And a younger cousin would call a stick a dick. As most little kids would do, we would grab a stick and say look how big my stick is and he would grab a bigger wone and claim that his dick was much bigger.