So, What’s New?

Not much, I suppose. Work is work, and that doesn’t seem to change much. But I’m not going to complain about a good paying job that doesn’t usually stress me out much. Of course, the past month or so has been pretty stressful because I’ve taken on quite a few new things and that’s thrown me out of my comfort zone. I’ve nearly got a handle on all of that, though, so I’ll be fine.

Micah switched schools and now attends the same Montessori school as his cousins. He’s loving it and has adjusted incredibly well. He seems so much happier, which makes TJ and me so much happier, too. Saving a load of money each month also makes us so much happier. It’s a wonderful feeling to actually be able to pay our bills without juggling. Well, that’s what TJ tells me. I don’t do the bills. Money and I aren’t really friends. I just like to have a little bit to buy a book or some lunch now and then.

I think the biggest news is that my aunt has run out of treatment options for her cancer. She’s surpassed all expectations regarding her survival – she was supposed to have passed away two years ago. I guess you should never underestimate someone’s will to live. She’s a very stubborn woman who has a large family who love her dearly.

I’ve always loved this particular aunt more than any of my other “grown up” relatives, if you know what I mean. I had fun with my uncles, never really connected to any of my other aunts, but Aunt Jan was like the mom I always wanted. I’m sure she wasn’t perfect, especially in the view of her own kids, but, to me, she was calm, patient, and loving. And she has a great sense of humor which is something that goes a long way with me. Our longest running joke has always been about gray hair. When I was a kid, I used to tease her whenever I’d see a gray in her hair, which really wasn’t often since I think she dyed it. She used to scold me, in a teasing way, that someday I’d regret giving her such a hard time about it. She’d tell me that someday, I’d have a head full. I used to just laugh because, surely, that wouldn’t happen to me. Well, I don’t think I need to comment further about that other than to say that over the past few years it’s her that was doing the teasing. She kept her hair dyed red until after the chemo treatments started. After that, she has white hair. She told me that she really misses her beautiful red hair. I tell her that gray hair is hot so she’s alright. I also told her that she should try shaving her head and getting a big dragon tattoo that wraps around her noggin and down her neck. That would be awesome! She looked a little scared of that suggestion.

Micah and I both had the day off yesterday and I had planned to drive us up to visit Jan for a few hours but I’m not sure if I’m fighting off a sinus infection or just allergies. I didn’t want to take the chance of making her sick so I decided to not go. I’m hoping for next weekend.

I think one thing that’s come from my aunt’s illness is that I’ve gotten closer to my cousin, Jan’s youngest daughter. She and I are very much alike and we’ve both come to realize that over the past couple of years. It’s too bad that her mom getting sick is what spurred that realization. I’m very bad at telling people how I feel about them. I think they know it but I’m never sure. I don’t have a problem telling my wife and my son how much I love them and what they  mean to me but can’t seem to get those words out for others. I’ve become much more guarded over the years. That’s something I need to work through. Particularly when it comes to my aunt. I want to be able to tell her how I feel about her but also don’t want it to come across as the final goodbye, you know? But I also don’t want her to leave this life without knowing what she’s meant to me. Whenever I do see her, we joke and tease and I think she knows how much I do love her because I feel her love for me coming through. It has to be a Ziminski trait because my grandfather, aunt, brother, and I all have the same way of dealing with love and affection. The more we care, the more we tease and joke. It’s our way.

I need more coffee and I just heard the maker shut itself off, which is completely unacceptable. Have a great day and tease someone you love!

Comment if you want. You know, no pressure.

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