I find myself looking at nearly everyone with suspicion. I want to come right out and ask them – How did you vote? I held the door open for a woman this morning and caught myself thinking that she looks like a republican and I shouldn’t have held it for her. I should have smashed her in the head with it or crushed her fingers in the jamb. But I can’t even break it down that way since not all republicans voted for the ban and there were plenty of democrats that voted “yes.” I want someone to unleash my rage upon.
I can feel it building as the day goes on. My face is tingling and the top of my head is tight. I’m feeling a little light headed. The only thing that is making my head not completely blow off is that Rumsfeld just got canned and the Democrats will be back in the majority in the house. And maybe the Senate, we’re still waiting to see how Virginia pans out.
I’ve gotten so many emails and calls from friends and family today. It’s nice, but sad. I mean, it makes me feel good that we’re lucky enough to have so many people care about us but the whole situation just sucks. SUCKS! I just don’t know what to do. Do we just take it? Do we just go on like nothing has happened? Do we move to another state? Or to Canada where we’re legally married? I feel like by doing nothing we’re saying “Here, here’s our tax money, please continue to prevent us from trying to get equal protection under the law. Thank you, neighbors and countrymen, for reminding us, yet again, that we’re just not quite good enough to get the same benefits of citizenship as you are. Glad I spent more than six years of my life in the military so you can tell me that I’m unpatriotic and immoral. But God bless Brittany Spears who is now working on her SECOND divorce. I can’t help but feel some responsibility. After all, TJ and I did get married last year and it was probably us, along with my co-sinners, that denigrated the meaning of her marriage and turned it onto the path of ruin. Sorry Brit. Better luck next time. Or the time after that. But no worries, all of your marriages, and divorces, will be recognized by the government that I help to pay for.” Maybe I should ask for a refund. Maybe that’s what we should do. Organize to only pay for the things that benefit us. Like the a la carte menu.