With the beginning of 2009, I’m determined to get back to being more of my old self. Especially since I’m getting old. Well, 40 isn’t ancient by any means, but I can feel the difference in my body. Of course, that could be from the pounding my 4 year old gives me when we wrestle. But either way, I’m feeling it.
Anyone who still bothers to come here knows that last year I pretty much lost touch with everyone that doesn’t live in my house with me. And even those who do noticed a drop in quality time. I had a lot going on in my head and was dealing with a lot issues that were either existing crap from years ago or new crap dealing with the standard “holy shit I’m getting older and am going to die” stuff. So I stopped communicating with most friends and family members and buried myself in reading and anything else that would allow me not to think and reflect on my life.
Well, I’m feeling a bit better now. I decided to seek some therapy and try to get my body back into shape. I did go to a psychologist but her style didn’t really fit well with my personality. Mostly, she sort of scared me. So, I won’t be going back to see her. I’m sure she’s great, just not for me. I also haven’t started working out yet but I do look longingly at the treadmill and our home gym. I’m sure we’ll get together soon.
I’ve been reading so damn much, and have actually started reading more published work instead non-published fan fiction, that I’ve put the forum back up so I can write about specific books and authors and keep them all in one spot. So feel free to go over to the forum and share.
I miss posting at c-spot so I’m going to try to do that a bit more. I had been doing a lot of self-censoring because I didn’t want to post my thoughts and activities and have something hurt someone’s feelings. But, you know what, that’s why I started this. To share what’s really going on in my life. I’ve discovered that being able to share my experiences and feelings with others is great therapy. So I’m going to go back to doing that. If I write something that hurts your feelings, please know that it most likely was not my intention, but that’s the risk you take by reading here. If you want to flame me or post a comment, I may delete it but I may not. I suppose it depends on how I’m feeling that day.
So that’s where I am with life and c-spot. If you’re one of those people who doesn’t live in my house and I’ve not spoken to you in months, it’s not because I’m mad at you or don’t want to have you in my life. I just wasn’t able to communicate with you. And know that you were not alone. I bet if everyone I’ve lost touch with during 2008 posted a comment here, it would get more entries that our diginomicon post about bathroom etiquette. And that was incredible! Hmmm, maybe I’ll put that on the forum…