TJ is suffering from Empty Nest Syndrome. Literally. She went to water the dying plant that the nest is in and the babies flew away. She had watered the plant before and all was well but this time she scared them. And they scared her a bit, too. She said that after the first one flew from the nest, she said “Hey! You can’t fly!” But it could. And then, another one flew away. Then one more. Then, finally, the last three took off. We could see them bopping around in front of the house. They didn’t come home last night. TJ’s a little sad. Daddy bird landed in the plant as we were eating dinner. He checked the nest from every conceivable angle for several minutes. Using one of TJ’s phrases, he’s not the smartest banana in the tree. Yeah, that’s what she saidÂ about me last night. Anyway, she’s sad about the birds.Â Hopefully, they’ll figure out that there are feeders and a bird bath in the back yard.
It was a big day for TJ. She also came out to another lesbian at work. The woman was blown away. She had no clue. While recapping the event for me, she just shrugged her shoulders and said, “What’s up with that? Doesn’t her gaydar work?” She doesn’t go out of her way to hide anything about her personal life while at work, she just doesn’t like to discuss anything personal. Not with anyone except those who are closest to her. She won’t lie if someone asks her but she’s not the sort to volunteer info about her life.
Speaking of lesbians, I believe we have another one working in our company. I went upstairs to install a couple databases on her computer and, after a momentary “sizing up,’ put my hand out and introduced myself. She stood up and grasped my hand very firmly and gave me her name. It’s been my experience that straight women don’t do that. And I don’t shake hands with a woman who I assume to be straight like that either; it’s more of a gentle clasp. I’m pretty sure that both of our voices dropped an octave during the introductions, too. This is what happens everytime I meet another Butch or Butchesque woman. There are certain aspects of my personality that will always fit in this category.
Some people have said that I’m way too emotional to be butch. But that’s not remotely true. It’s a well known fact in the lesbian community that the butcher the woman on the outside, the more emotional she is. Femme women are the tough ones. Although, there’s not much butch/femme anymore. Not that it’s good or bad, it just is.
I know that when I first came out at 18 years old, I was about as butch as they come. It’s what I thought I had to be. Not a lot of role models back then. I’m making it sound like it was 50 years ago, but so much has changed. It’s incredible. I think, personally, that I’ve found the balance that I needed. I don’t dress in a feminine way or wear make up regularly but I feel very feminine in other ways.
Well, I lost my train of thought so I’m going to leave that one where it is.